Latest news with #emotional abuse
New York Times
06-08-2025
- General
- New York Times
Why Is My Family Avoiding Me After I Cut Off Contact With My Father?
Last November, I cut off contact with my father. He has been emotionally abusive to me my whole life. I am now in my 30s and decided to create a boundary between him and my family. My only child is 18 months old, and I will not allow him to hurt my daughter as he hurt me. Unless he acknowledges that the way he treated me was wrong and apologizes for it, I will not speak to him again. The issue: My mother and younger brother still live with him, and I haven't heard from them since I stopped talking to my father. They don't seem to have any interest in speaking with me. Can I reach out to them — especially my brother, who endured the same abuse I did? SON Families are made up of individual members, of course, but they also function as a whole. When you called out your father for his emotional abuse, for instance, you also implicated your mother. Was she complicit in the abuse by failing to stop it? Was she being abused herself and unable to admit it? Or does she disagree with your assessment? The same goes for your younger brother, who may not be ready to handle this conflict now. It probably occurred to you that your father might deny your accusations and that no apology would be forthcoming. But it sounds as if the ripple effect with the rest of your family caught you off guard. I think it would be extremely helpful for you to reach out to your mother and brother separately. In your individual conversations with them, though, focus on them — not on your father. Acknowledge the tough position that each of them is in — living with your father, while still being a mother and a brother to you (and a grandmother and an uncle to your daughter). Talk about strategies for maintaining your relationships with them. And speak to a therapist, in advance, to help you make these conversations as productive as they can be. A Hard Number Lands With a Thud My husband has a well-paid job at an elite university. We send our two kids to the day care there. The combined cost is more than my annual salary. Over drinks with acquaintances, one of them raised the issue of day care costs. Someone said they were 'sooo expensive,' and another compared them to college tuitions. So, I finally said the number we pay. But when I saw the shock on their faces, I instantly regretted it. I didn't tell them to show off. I just thought it was more real to say what day care actually costs. Thoughts? Want all of The Times? Subscribe.
Daily Mail
04-08-2025
- General
- Daily Mail
Expat lists the 'red flags' her Aussie partner insists are 'normal' Down Under - before thousands warn her to 'get out NOW'
An expat who moved to Australia to be with her partner shared a confronting glimpse into their relationship - and hundreds have branded him emotionally abusive. Posting anonymously to Reddit, the woman explained she left her home country and quit her stable IT job in November to start a new life Down Under. She met her partner while he was living in her country, and the couple had a long-distance relationship for a while. She chose to relocate because she didn't want to break up. But since moving, she's been questioning whether the way he speaks to her is 'normal' in Aussie relationships. 'When we argue or he's upset, he's said things like "shut the f*** up b***h", "you don't have a f***ing job", and "you can't even f***ing cook",' she wrote. The man also frequently tells her to 'f**k off' if she ever says something in her own language out of frustration when they're arguing. She also said he once told her, 'I'm a visual person' and 'our sex life is dead' when discussing their relationship - something that left her feeling insecure about her appearance. 'I've never said anything similar about him,' she said. 'I'm not sure if this is healthy or normal.' The woman, whose first language isn't English, admitted she sometimes freezes during arguments when she doesn't fully understand what's being said. She had been led to believe that swearing was just part of Australian culture. Her boyfriend allegedly told her that 'Aussies swear a lot' and 'aren't romantic'. But commenters were quick to reassure her that this behaviour wasn't cultural - it was abusive. 'Nothing about this is normal,' one top comment read. 'Australians can be forthright, but this is abusive language,' another wrote. 'Please be careful and make sure you have the means to safely leave if you need to.' She met her partner while he was living in her country, and the couple had a long-distance relationship, but she chose to relocate Down Under because she didn't want to break up An Australian man summed up how most were feeling. 'There's nothing unique about how respect is shown here. Your instincts are correct. I'm sorry to say this is not okay,' he wrote. The woman also said she felt isolated because all of her partner's family and friends live nearby, and she hasn't found a job yet. 'This is my first time living overseas, and honestly, I feel like a little kid who always needs help,' she said. Though she initially asked if his behaviour was simply a reflection of 'how Aussies argue', she concluded by thanking people for their honest feedback. 'I get it now. This is not normal at all.' If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, you can contact 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) for confidential counselling and support 24/7.
